In the past few years I had one of these very "down" periods. I used to blame it on the Norwegian winter. In Norway, the winter time brings long nights, cold and darkness. I crave the sun to thrive. After many years in Norway, I started to realize, it was not just the darkness. It was me, starting to loose myself.
When I was younger, I used my gut feeling as my compass. Those times I listened to it, I made life changes. When I didn´t, I got sick. I would get back pain, my stomach would not function, I felt hopeless and would make impulsive, but perhaps not so smart, decisions that brought me down further into a negative and sadness spiral. For the most part, those times I listened to my gut and made changes, I was taken into incredible exciting journeys that helped me grow. The restlessness and physical symptoms that came with my gut feelings, triggered me to take action which ended up giving me the most beautiful experiences I have had in my life.
At this low point, I tried filling up with lots of things and activities to avoid listening to myself. I was pushing down feelings, in denial that things needed to change. I was not allowing myself to process. I was suppressing my gut feeling.
During this "down" period, enhanced by the darkness, I started to go into a downward spiral. Luckily, I caught myself before hitting too low. I learned how to listen to my gut feeling again. It suddenly started screaming. It would not stop until things came to a balance again. I realized it was time for changes.
Yet, this time, I was more careful when coming in contact with my gut feeling. I was not to override it. It would not let me. It had come back fiercely. It was strong, passionate, and persistent. However, life had taught me that it is not only changes that help with the frank conversation between myself and my gut feeling. It was also important to talk about acceptance. Accepting those things which we cannot control. Accepting the risk, accepting other people´s actions. And as the four agreements* say, trying to accept, while not taking things personally.
Suddenly, it was not so scary to connect with my gut feeling. I understood it only wanted to show me something. It only wanted me to grow, to be better, to be honest with myself.
It was then I understood that the place where I am at my best, is the place where I find the fine balance between acceptance and change. That is my sweet spot.
It took me some time to listen to my gut. It took me some time to accept, and I am still in the process of change. But I am smiling. My gut feeling has told me that this new journey we have embarked on, will take us on an unforgettable path to an exciting place. A place we could only dream of.
I am excited. I have packed lightly and am enjoying each step. Yes, life is definitely a journey...not a destination.
*The four agreements: http://www.toltecspirit.com/